“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us”
-Oscar Wilde
Today is October 15 and it is also a day to remember all of the lost angels both through pregnancy and infancy. Of course you all know what happened to Bryan and I by now and Ive shed enough tears for the day so I will just say that forever more I will always remember my very special baby boy for being EVERYTHING & MORE. He is the fact that my heart can stretch bigger than I ever knew possible. He is the strength and courage deep inside of me that I may never have known I had. He is some of the best memories I will ever have. He is the defining moment of who I am as a person, woman, mother and more. He is the light at the end of a tunnel, an angel always there for me. He is my insanity and sanity all at once. He is growth of the most beautiful relationship between Bryan and I. He is the reason I know Bryan and I are Forever. He is the sad day and the happy day. I am who I am today because of this year. This chunk of my life 8 months, it is the stepping stones to my future. There are so many things I know, so many people I have met because of Chase that just have changed my life, way of thinking, EVERYTHING. There is so much I'd like to do to honor my Angel but for today taking time to really focus and remember the happiness I felt throughout my pregnancy will have to do. I also would like to say to anyone reading this who has lost a child at any time ever that you are one of the strongest people I know because I don't know what else to call someone who lives with a piece of your heart broken for the rest of their life other than strong.
Its been a while,,,,Hawaii was a tough act to follow for my blog ;) and life has consisted of nothing but work and Digornio Pizzas for Bryan and I. I will ask for all your well wishes as Bryan and I are officially currently trying for a second...not like as I'm typing this obviously but you get it ; P I know it will be hard on me, its just the person I am, I will be terrified and I can already see a whole lot of blogging in my future once that stick goes positive but one things for sure I will NEVER take a second for granted. One thing that breaks my heart more than anything is how few pictures I have of me being pregnant. I will be Preggozilla and go all out ; P Why I may even do preggo cast....not really they kind of freak me out....: /
Until Next Time <3
