Common but true. I do feel new. I can remember distinctly last year on New Years I prayed for a healthy little addition to our family and we certainly got that! Liam is really everything for Bryan and I. At the end of the day we are exhausted, drained and I never think we realized just how hard it would be to fit a baby into our lives but we wouldn't have it any other way! Bryan and I had our hearts broken in the worst way imaginable and little by little those little coos and ahhs have helped mended our aches in a way we didn't think was possible. It doesn't change the fact that sometimes out of no where I nearly fall over in tears and heartache that there really should be TWO little boys tugging on my hair driving me crazy and likewise their should really be TWO little laughs I hear on the baby monitor when I wake up. Every day is a devastation but its also beautiful and that's what I'd really like to focus on this year is the beauty of our sweet boy Liam. I fear I have not lived up to being as god a mom as I could be from depression over the loss of Chase, I didn't think I still had it but realized the last few weeks of this year that I have let it affect me in the worst of ways by affecting my ability to be the best mother I can. I LOVE LIAM to DEATH but I felt disconnected from being a mom, the best mom and I really want to focus this year on really moving on from the dark barrier there. I have a feeling Liam is going to grow up to be the best little boy I could ever want and likewise he deserves the best mom ever!
We celebrated New Years with some of Bryans Family in Washington and in Canada. Mine and Liams first time but not Bry's. The whole trip was mine and my sister in law Jenn's gift to the boys! They are the best of friends first and brothers second if that makes sense. It was the best surprise ever! Liam did perfect on his first plane ride! I prayed I wouldn't be "that" mom with the screaming baby on a 2 hour flight and thank goodness he did me proud! We had so much fun and it was a great way to bring in the New Year!
Mister Liam is 5 months his most favorite thing in the whole world (besides me of course) is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! His all time favorite episode is Road Rally he will watch for hours! I am NOT a fan of letting the tv babysit but he genuinely enjoys it so much sometimes its hard to say no I just try and limit it to no more than twice a day! His favorite food is peaches! He seriously loves them so much I think he is going to start naturally smelling like peaches! His first word is "Hi!" It is so shocking when he says it because were used to baby babble and he says it clear as day! He is ticklish under his armpits and on his knees but he has a poker face like none other and unfortunately tries very hard to not laugh which is awful because he has the cutest laugh in the world (mommy bias).
Welp that's my crappy almost a month later post and that's about the best your going to get for now : D
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